The Warfare of Marriage (and Relationships)-A Spiritual Editorial

I’m going to try to make this one brief.  Given the topic I may very well fail.  We’ll see though.   Let’s make this a series, no? Let me first say that no I'm not married and I give commentary based on the Standard that comes from on High.  Don't believe me? Reference it. I encourage you to actually (see last week).  Now, let's get going'

The idea of a healthy marriage is for two folks on the same page to get together and spend the rest of their lives together.  Throwing in the God context, it’s designed to be the prelude to a family, in which the two folks pass on their “on the same page” Godly Values to the next generation so that their legacy can be propitiated and they can genuinely multiply (Genesis 1:28). 

Well, this is awesome because two (or three) folks coming together in Christ’s name means Jesus is in the midst of that (Matthew 18:20).  And Jesus can pass his Values onto the man, the man to the woman, and the parents to the kids (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 6:1-10).  If every family acted like this, we’d be awesome right? Right. 

The problem with this is that this is the ideal, God’s default Model for how a family should be...and like with a lot of things God wants by default, we fall short of it (Romans 3:23).  Our heritage, experiences, and stereotypes pollute the marriage.  How you figure?  Outside influence.  Primarily by Satan’s schemes.  The last thing that Satan wants to see is two folks who come together (in the context of marital best friendship) to advance God’s Kingdom and Glorify Him not only through what they do, but what they are.  Next to relationship with God, the relationship with a spouse is the most important and most intimate relationship out there.  Hence outside influence being a bad thing.

Now everybody need somebody right?  I mean God gets all His stuff done in the context of relationships (i.e., Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Isaiah, Jeremiah, etc. etc. etc.).  However, marriage is the kind of relationship where ideally the only person that should be allowed in that “joint closet” is Jesus.  Often in our iniquity and pain, we let everyone but Jesus in that closet, forgetting we share that closet with someone and it should be sacred.  I like to call this “Haywire Matrimony”.    It comes in two tiers:

Tier I: Someone who knows God AND is competent to help who we can trust.   Non-ideal but not all that bad.  So long as the person who seeks the outside help has enough discernment to understand what it means to give Godly counsel and tear down principalities, this one isn’t so bad.  Problem with this one is pretty much that whomever is seeking the help doesn’t have enough power directly from on High to hash it out without the help.  This is a process; many people go through this.  This one isn’t necessarily all that negative.

Tier 2: Gossip.  Gossip bad.  Very bad.  This is where the person seeking the outside help just wants to vent and someone to listen.  This is where they find that route to attack their spouse because they don’t feel like they can engage their spouse directly.  Sometimes they’re right.  A lot of people who land here have bypassed the advice from on High and that from folks in Tier 1.  Furthermore, a lot of people doing this wind up cheating.  Others overcome this (because Jesus IS a redeemer after all) and reconcile their marriage. 

The point is that marriage is war.  We have to fight.  Satan wants that marriage to go into the toilet...and we have to pray, forgive, and engage effectively to keep it afloat.  It is a labor of love, but it is labor.

Let me address the men.  If you can read this and you want to get marriage, keep this in mind.  All of it.  And that you’re supposed to lead.  If you can’t meet this challenge, go into the duck off with the Lord as opposed to wasting your time, and the time of any ladies you come across because without understanding these things you will fall on your face.  And hard.  Now, if you don’t see it here, stay tuned because I’m going to address the men over the next several weeks.   Have a good weekend, folks!