Functional Masculinity (2 of 7): The Ephesians 5 Principle

Today, I want to continue on the functional masculinity piece. This particular piece is important, as it is the charge of every man to convey functional masculinity in a manner that reflects Jesus Christ. Now, let me talk about the Ephesians 5 principle.  I have spoken on the principle before, from a different perspective.  Keep in mind that what God wants is the order (God>Jesus>man>woman>children) maintained so His Power can flow (1 Corinthians 11:3).  If the man has the hiccup and the woman has the empowerment, she has to use it in the context to not be a theological contrarian (that's religiosity), but rather to empower the man and put him back in his spot (a modification to a past post).  With that said, let's roll into the meat.

Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Then Eph 5:26-28 goes on (paraphrase) to say that a man should present her wife to himself as holy and blameless as a radiant church. Men should also love their wives as their own body. What I want to do is a bit of a breakdown of this.

First of all, the concept of loving the wife as his own flesh. Couple this to the general charge that Christ gives us all to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Matt 22:39) Note that with the exception of seeking God and loving God with all our hearts, NO OTHER DYNAMIC IS MADE REFERENCE as associating someone else with ourselves. And "Honor thy mother and father" is all fine and dandy, however, Genesis states that a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife. What this essentially means is that men should be treating their wives as if it is themselves. If the wife has a stomachache, the husband has to react like HE's the one sick (I watched this happened once; it was awesome to see).  While that was great, where is that in today's society? Largely, largely lost.  Men, we gotta get up on our stuff and SERVE OUR WIVES (no I'm not married).

Secondly, a man presenting his wife to himself without blemish. I had to brood on this one for a minute. Then I thought about it. When Christ died for our sins, then we got ourselves some positional righteousness. As far as the Father is concerned, we are seen just like Christ and so long as we ask Him things in Christ's name, they will pan out in our favor (paraphase Matt 21:22).  Just got to stick to that standard.  So what does that mean in a marriage? It means that a wife shouldn't be put on a pedestal in a place reserved for Christ and Christ alone, but the wife should be presented in the mind in a matter that she has no flaws, even when she produces the flaws. Having this characterization of our spouses mediates reconciliation, JUST like when we sin and go to God, it is our POSITIONAL RIGHTEOUSNESS mediated by CHRIST'S SACRIFICE for us all that allows us to get our stuff back straight with God. It's the PRACTICAL RIGHTEOUSNESS that cultivates our relationship with God, like a wife's practical flaws cause a rift in a marriage. Now men, remember, that picture we have in our heads isn't something she can ever reach through her works, it's something she has as a result of the covenant of marriage...and that leads back into a man loving a woman as his own body, and not hating his own body and taking care of it.  When the positional righteousness is given in the context described above, a man AND his wife can work on their flaws and loss of harmony and grow practically (spiritually).  Essentially, it's just seeing things as being all good because that's just the way it's going to be (or rather, understanding that God has it covered no matter what).

The last section of this is most important: husbands loving our wives as Christ loved the church. Well, what did Christ do for the church? Despite having the power NOT TO, he got up on the cross and died for the sake of the church, because Christ understood what His Role was. Does that mean we as men should simply give up our lives for our wives? Well, actually, yes. Let me explain. When a man gets married, it's not about him anymore. He needs to do everything under God that God has set him out to do to honor AND serve his wife in the marriage (and then the kids if they have kids present, but that's a slightly different story). That means a husband puts his stuff aside for the sake of his wife, and pushes himself as hard as the Lord's Will deem fit to make it happen in his marriage. Look, men have to take care of their wives, and do everything in their power to do right by his wife under God (the contextual key here). A concept that is lost in so many marriages. That being said, the standard not being followed does not diminish that standard, but rather those who conscientiously dismiss the standard. Note what I said. Conscientiously dismiss. If we don't accept the standard, the standard is still the standard. God is still God whether someone adheres to His Order, Standards, and Values or not. Therefore, the attributes are unmovable as well. I have seen, see, and read about argumentative marriages, distant marriages, dismissed marriages, and the like. God takes marriage seriously. This and Genesis 2 (be fruitful and multiply [go out and transfer His Image and Likeness]) are the crux of how God feels about marriage. As God takes marriage very seriously, so should we all.

Some of you who are reading this are probably saying, "Dude, you've never been married. You've never even been in a relationship for over a year." And you know what? Y'all are right. There are many who may have been married, some who are married (I'm thinking of some folks in particular) who could speak on this better than I have. I figured I'd convey God's Standard with as little of myself inserted in it as possible. Let me say this though. Even if you aren't married, if you're in a relationship, and you haven't distinctly taken marriage off of the table, this is still the standard you are working toward. I was talking to a buddy of mine a while back, and we came to a consensus that if you're going to get married and/or have kids, then your mentality should reflect that BEFORE it happens. And NO, PLEASE don't go call your girlfriend and ask her to bump nasties. That is NOT what I mean. What I mean is that as far as God says....and if even as we as men, JUST COURTING a woman, we need to be talking to God about her.  In short, while some things are reserved for marriage, other things should be implemented as early as deems fit (but let the Lord lead).  It'll restore the harmony in the marital dynamic, and allow God through His Holy Spirit to cultivate the man and his masculinity.   Next time I will talk about another aspect of masculinity largely lost on today's men.  Stay tuned.

Quotent Quotables

Just some things I like to say:

"Don't let a wrench get thrown into your plans. A wrench is a tool; which means it only has power if it can be used. If it doesn't fit into your business, put the wrench back in the toolbox."

"I'm just an ordinary negro."

"Know who you're dealing with. Know what you have before you make a decision to deal with it or not. You can't walk into a Chick-Fil-A and expect to walk out with a hamburger."

"If you awaken a sleeping giant, chances are you're going to get clubbed."

"If you don't wish for the world to poop on you, refuse to be a toilet."

"Oh no. This ain't gon' work."

"That don't go together!"

"I'm not where I want to be; but I'm thankful I'm not who I used to be."

"You could always say 'blark'. It basically substitutes for any profane word."

"Hittin' you with your own pimp and confusing you with 5-syllable words since 1982."

"I have a Ph.N. I'm a Negro of Philosophy."

"I'm just here to get to the solution."

"I'd quit, but I'm not sure I ever read the manual on how to do that."

"Fear? I fear God. Once He's in my business, what else is there to be afraid of?"

"I don't listen to what anybody got to say but God."

"I'm not fond of folks who say 'I love so-and-so so much.' Love can't be quantified. If you truly love someone unconditional, love by it's nature is infinite like the God who gave it to us first."

:-D