Well…I’m back. Last time around I discussed functional masculinity from the aspect of sacrifice. You know, the way Jesus Christ sacrificed for us, both through the validation of the Gospel (Jesus being God on Earth) and its culmination (Jesus dying for our sins and being Risen on the third day). Well we've talked about what functional masculinity is supposed to do, now let's discuss what it is NOT supposed to do.
For this particular entry I’d like to talk about functional masculinity from the perspective of one of the things that chokes functional masculinity…the “woe is me” principle. What the heck is the “woe is me” principle? Before I continue, while “woe is me” can be experienced by either a man or a woman, I am only talking about it from the perpsective of the man. Fellas, put on your thinking caps. When you’re in service to others, or having a really rough day, or your girlfriend/fiancée is making you do something you don’t want to do, do you get frustrated? Well that’s understandable; getting mad at your situation is natural. However, let me explain the difference between general frustration and “woe is me”.
When a man is frustrated with what he has to do, there are three general reactions (for every man it looks different). First, the frustrated man. He will do what he has to do, but begrudgingly so, with some anger, a snide comment, something. This man is either going to put walls up about his frustration, or he’s going to become the second man, the “woe is me” man. The “woe is me” man has become so frustrated with the sum total of his life circumstances that he complains all the time and has lost the will to better himself…in other words, he wants to quit. Why is the “woe is me” man even relevant? Because “woe is me” doesn’t know any color (although the black brothers are the first this is associated with), and no walk of life. The man who is viral in his complaints about his life despite the fact that he’s “doing what he’s supposed to” is also a “woe is me” man. “Woe is me” could either mean that a man isn’t trying anymore, of that a man wants unnecessary recognition for what he’s doing.
***To the ladies*** If you got a man like this, or you know one…uplift him (within boundaries of course, next blog entry..), but hold that man accountable.
***To the fellas***Women don’t want a whiny man. So stop whining.
Some of you are probably assuming the third man is the functional man. You’d be right to do so. I’m going to get to him in a minute. Some of you are also probably like “Two paragraphs and no Scripture references? Are you blowing smoke my brother?”
To you, hush, I got you. Here we go.
What’s the fundamental issue in a “woe is me” man? He ain’t checking himself at the door. This is but one of many things that can fall out from not making every thought one has conform to obey Christ. One of those principalities that causes us to fall out of godliness is that we are to be in entitled to something we’re not supposed to have…so yeah, men like this are deceived (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). A charge made in Ephesians 4:29-32 by Paul is not to open our mouths unless we have uplifting things to say. I think we can agree that whining doesn’t uplift anybody.
But why “woe is me”? What does “woe is me” look like?
The “woe is me” man thinks he has it so bad and is making so many sacrifices in life. And you know what? A lot of “woe is me” men do a lot of good work in their lives. They later invalidate it by wanting to be seen at the cost of being mad if they aren’t. Jesus himself tells us not to even roll like that. In Matthew 6:19-24, Jesus talks about this principle in challenging the Pharisees in the manner by which they worship. And not to serve the pleasures of the world. And YES, wanting to be seen/appreciated/etc at the cost of your walk in genuineness is indeed a pleasure of the WORLD. So, a charge to us as men is, we can’t be in it to be seen regarding the matter…because if a man chooses to identify with stuff like this it is IMPOSSIBLE for him to identify with Christ….and if a man with a family don’t have Christ, well then best case scenario is that the order is disrupted a bit and flowing through the woman. But, dysfunctional masculinity more often than not produces an entire dysfunctional family.
The “woe is me” principle is important for a man and a woman, but within God’s Order, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3)…but if a man is bogged down in “woe is me”, then Christ isn’t his head. And Christ IS the quintessential functional God-man. But like I said, I’m going to get to that.
In Scripture there are many “woe is me” men. But none are nearly as prominent as Job (see the book of Job in the Old Testament). Let’s take a look at Job. Job was a prominent man with a lot of land, riches, and a nice family. And while God was minding His own business you know, being God and all…here comes Satan boogity boogity (a wise man got me saying that, some of you may know him), rolling up there and noticing how proud God was of Job. So…Satan challenged God to flip his world upside down. And God agreed but told Satan to spare his life. Job wound up losing his lands, his house, his kids, and his health (sound somewhat familiar folks?), just all out of his comfort zone. His friends came and were shocked to see him. And Job had the “woe is me” thing going deep (but it is noteworthy that throughout this book he did not call God out of His name). Toward the end of the book of Job, Job asks God why he had to endure all these things, and God basically told him not to question him. It is even more noteworthy that practically every “woe is me” man has questioned God for putting him where he is. Keyword: perspective.
Perspective? But what about the Biblical man? The short answer is that when the going gets tough, a Biblical man will follow Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3 again)….that is his perspective. A Biblical man, when he’s faced with a taxing situation, as opposed to questioning God’s intent, will ask God to simply show him what God wants him to do in the situation…and often times that’s just waiting on God and sticking it out. Biblical men, depending on their maturity level, don’t struggle with this concept nearly as badly as the “woe is me” men. Why is following Christ important though? Well for this particular part, following Christ is important because Christ died for our sins. The next time one of you wants to think that’s no big deal, think about the world without that sacrifice. I’m willing to bet we wouldn’t even be here. Hell? No I’ll pass thank you (Jesus). But seriously, Jesus knew who He was and why He came to the Earth. And throughout the Gospel he was focused on His singular purpose of walking a perfect life in our place and taking that whooping on our behalf, adopting us into God’s Kingdom. Can any of us do that? Nope? Well then it’s a big darn deal that He did it.
Think about this though…would it have been the same if Jesus wanted to be revered for being the Son of God? Jesus, while he was on Earth, stayed wherever His head lay, he all knowledge but kept no money, ducked off constantly to have His fellowship with the Father (secret places), and rode in on a donkey (colt in some translations) where he could have had a golden chariot. He went into His situation, and if you look at His exchange with the Pilate (case and point, John 19:10-15), Jesus knows that He has to go up on the cross, and Pilate tells him that he has the power to free him or condemn him (verse 10), but Jesus completely dismisses that notion in verse 11, and is even seeks to give Pilate the perspective who He is…while those who turned him over to Pilate called Caesar their only king (verse 15, Roman Emperors were thought of as gods too), and Jesus already knew that this was a very egregious act (verse 11). Or let's think about Matthew 26:36-46. That critical time that although Jesus (being God), knew He was about to separated from the Father for the first time in eternity. That time that Jesus had to tap into His "God part" and although He made a petition, He willfully submitted to the Father with no complaint, and fulfilled His component of the Gospel. In that we were all made alive through Christ. Had he been focused on His Pain, and not His Purpose, we'd be done for. Such is also the case when we as men focus on our pain at the expense of our purpose. Note, sometimes you have to hash out pain. That's what the very Jesus who wasn't focused on His Pain is for.
That’s the Standard by which we as men can dismiss the “woe is me” principle. Christ didn’t complain a lick for what he had to do, but did in love and sincerity…and furthermore, knowing His role in the Father’s Plan. Men if we stick to this, we can’t lose, and woe gets kicked out of our business. God bless and have a great day.
