I’d like to first take the time out to wish a Happy Father’s Day to every last dad out there! I find it kind of funny that I had been putting off this particular entry of my blog, and here comes Father’s Day. I say that because this particular entry of my blog is going to deal with a sort of a hash of the previous entries with one serious point emphasized: LEGACY. Every man, on some level, wants to leave his mark on the world. Some men pursue wealth and power (Not the best idea, Matthew 6:24), while others propagate the world with 12 and 20 kids by 5-6 women (Also not the best idea).
One thing that I found interesting was that during a discussion in my men’s group (and other discussions, actually), my pastor told us (paraphrasing his direct quote), “When a baby’s born, the mom is making sure that the baby is healthy, while the dad is looking for image and likeness.” Now this doesn’t mean that the dad doesn’t want the baby to be healthy, or that the dad is concerned that the kid may not be his based on facial features and the like. It’s a part of the male ego to want to leave behind a legacy, and while this in of itself is not necessarily a bad thing, there’s an order and standard to legacy that must be followed…give you a hint: you can’t find it lest you put your mind on things above (Colossians 3:1).
It is written that God has a distinct Image and Likeness. His Image, Hebrews 1:3, says that this Image is Jesus Christ the Son (some translations like the NRSV say “exact imprint of God’s very being”), and his Likeness, or Values, are the Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23 (love, joy, peace, patience/long-suffering, self-control). However, it is ALSO written that man was created in God’s Image (Genesis 1:26, AMP), “God said, Let Us [Father, Son, and Holy Spirit] make mankind in Our image, after Our likeness, and let them have complete authority over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the [tame] beasts, and over all of the earth, and over everything that creeps upon the earth.” The reason why we couldn’t do what Christ did (and what He had to do) was the goof Adam made in Genesis 3, thus giving man/woman their sin nature. God also made a great commission to us, the very first charge, “Be fruitful and multiply, subdue it, and take dominion”.
But what does that mean in today’s terms? And what does that mean in terms of being a father? Well the Kingdom-driven (godly) man has to reflect these things to maintain his functional masculinity throw intensive self-examination, independent study of the Word, and uninterrupted Fellowship with God, whether this be through the altar time (See Abraham, Genesis 12 and 13), or through having fellowship with others who genuine seek the Kingdom (Matthew 18:20). In Matthew 28:18, Christ made his own commission, to go forth and make disciples” in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit (paraphrase)” and He also said that He is with us to the end (verse 20).
Nelson you still haven’t really answered this question!
Hold on I’m getting to it! Sheesh…LOL
Genesis 1:28 coupled to Matthew 28:18 means two basic things.
1) God wants everything in the universe to reflect Him, this is his ideal scenario, His basic Work.
2) He’s charged us (men and women mind you, but I’m talking to the MEN right now [1 Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:25-26]) to go out and do His Work.
How do we do this work? The short answer is by loving God with everything that we have and in-turn, loving our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:35-40).
-And loving God and abiding in Him comes from obeying his Commandments (both from Matthew 22:35-40 and Exodus 20:4-18) and thus, having Him abide in us as we do in Him (John 14:15, John 15:10).
The not-so-short answer is as such. Men, take whatever you’ve learned and pass it on to the next cat behind you. Make sure you continue gaining knowledge to be able to pass on to the next person down the line. Dads, guide your kids. Husbands love your wives (yes I’m going there again, I LOVE Ephesians 5). Teach boys how to be men, tell girls (within appropriate parameters, don’t go running up to some 13yr old stranger on the street!) what a real man is supposed to look like. Uplift your contemporaries (fellow men), use yourselves as buffers between what someone is going through and the Holy Spirit (within appropriate boundaries, see previous post). And yes men, we have to exercise the “die to the self” principle (within God’s limits) with every dynamic we are a part of (we put ourselves last), just as Christ did for us, He IS our head after all (1 Corinthians 11:3 [again]). Give accounts of what you’ve gone through, mistakes you’ve made, be a barrier the best you can between the person you’re uplifting/counseling and the poor decision they are going to make. Be patriarchs of your families. Make behavior patterns change in youths when they step in your territory. Shouldn’t anyone have dominion over your house but God Himself.
But Nelson, you’re neither married nor have any kids! What about single men?
Yes, yes, yes, the single man. Well, do all the same things. Mentor someone else’s kids whenever the opportunity genuinely arises. Remember that men with kids carry a large responsibility, and whatever help you can lend is probably appreciated. Give unto yourself to all those around you. Keep boundaries and develop appropriate dynamics with the women folk around you. And don’t let deceptive rationale get, or even worse keep you in a holding pattern or poor decision-making (see the part about fellowshipping with God). Not really too too different…I’d personally say that single men, as we come up, need to train to be patriarchs, whether that’s to be a pastor, a dad, great-uncle, or any kind of leader anywhere (and yes ladies you can lead things too…I ain’t no chauvinist now! AGAIN, talking to the MEN!)
And (second) most importantly, REFLECT your words with your walk…and be genuine.
The most important thing we as men have to learn is to learn where we end and God begins. We do ourselves, and the folks around us a huge favor when we do this, regardless of what the initial reaction is.
When we follow all this stuff, we leave a darn impressive legacy, and get that well done (Matthew 25:23) as we continue pressing toward that Mark that God has laid out for us (Philippians 3:10-16).
Happy Father’s Day goes first to the Father in Heaven, and then to real dads, but even real men without kids who practice functional masculinity get a small cut of this pie. LOL Hope you enjoyed.
5/19/2011
Functional Masculinity (5 of 7): Boundaries
Last week we talked about the woe is me principle and how that can tear up and tear down relationships. Well this week, we'll discuss another thing that can either solidify or destroy relationships, boundaries.
Did you know that our God is a God of Order? God has an order for our lives in every aspect: personal (Colossians 3:1), family (1 Corinthians 11:3/Ephesians 5:21-6:4), career (Colossians 3:20-4:2), church, and community (Colossians 4:5-6). God has a distinct way of doing things and has an Image (Christ, Hebrews 1:3) and Likeness (Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23) that He wants in all things.
So if there's a playbook, why is there so much chaos in the world? Why are so many men acting a donkey? Why is there so much wounding?
DISORDER
While there are disorderly family units, and disorder everywhere...disorder comes from a lack of boundaries which in turn results in undefined dynamics. And an ambiguous dynamic of any kind is just begging for disorder.
Think about it in these terms: Papa was a rolling stone right? (Not necessarily your papa, just saying).
Ever think about why papa was a rollin' stone? The Word distinctly states in Genesis 1 that a man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife...NOT his wife AND ANYone else. The two are supposed to become of one flesh...how can a house divided against itself stand (from the Gospel)? Well if a man has any other Image for marriage other than that designated in 1 Corinthians 11:3 and Ephesians 5 (see previous blog), then he's clearly ignoring a boundary, thusly distorting a definition as dictated by God and creating DISORDER.
It's not just infidelity in marriage...it's the "friend with benefits" piece as well. "If a man looketh at another woman with lust, he has committed adultery in his heart (Matthew 5:28). In Exodus 20, one of the 10 Commandments to to NOT do this (reverberated several places in the New Testament). Now is it possible to not desire a dynamic like "friends with benefits" without engrossing ourselves in the Lord and His Way?
Answer: NOPE
Otherwise it wouldn't be desirable. It's going to clash with godliness (Galatians 5:17).
However, it's not just lust. Greed (No one can serve two masters, he shall love one and hate the other; you cannot serve God and wealth [Matthew 6:24]). A man ignoring this boundary cannot be the Biblical man that God set out for the 1st Adam but didn't get until the 2nd Adam (Christ). How can a man die to himself if he's stuck in financial self-preservation? Or any form of self-preservation?
Answer: He' can't.
What happens when boundaries are ignored? Well...
1) Folk get hurt...
2) The Holy Spirit is grieved...
3) Spiritual accounts are disrupted...
And we must keep Communion and fellowship with God including a comprehensive self-examination (1 Corinthians 11:27-32) only speak in a manner that edifies the Spirit (Ephesians 4:29), keep the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:16, 22-23), and Love God with all our hearts/thy neighbor as thy own flesh (Matthew 22:35-40).
Now don't get it flipped; women are just as subject to this as men...but it simply has a different effect when it starts with the man (again, 1 Corinthians 11:3). Now Joe Blow off the street won't have the influence necessary to create dysfunctional femininity from his dysfunctional masculinity...I'm talking about solidified dynamics (dating, "dating" ("friends with benefits"), relationships, marriage, etc.)
I could go on about ignoring boundaries forever. But what's the solution...?
1) Men, we gotta examine ourselves (1 Corinthians 11:27-32). Keep short (but candid) accounts with God about everything we do and let
2) We gotta take all thoughts captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). Principalities penetrate the mind and drive us to do ungodly things (And ignoring ANY boundary set by GOD through His Word is ungodly). Remember, it only takes one unchecked thought to tear down everything we've built.
3) Seek first the Kingdom and its righteousness (Matthew 6:33).
4) Make sure all of our decisions are guided BY SCRIPTURE ALONE, because it's the gold standard for living our lives (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
5) Again the
5) For when 1-4 fail, we must confess our sins so that God may clean us up (1 John 1:9) and make sure we don't condemn ourselves, for there is no condemnation for those in Christ (Romans 8:1). For unforgiveness and self-condemnation choke growth, propagate poor behavior patterns, and ALSO lead to ignoring of God-set boundaries. But let us remember while there is no condemnation in Christ, that our actions do have consequences, and those consequences work even for a greater good that we may come back into fellowship with God through our Lord, Savior, and Intercessor, Jesus Christ.
If we can keep these things in mind, fellas, we can show the ladies and all those around us what functional masculinity looks like. And next time I'm going to talk about what that looks like from a comprehensive standpoint. Until then, God bless.
Did you know that our God is a God of Order? God has an order for our lives in every aspect: personal (Colossians 3:1), family (1 Corinthians 11:3/Ephesians 5:21-6:4), career (Colossians 3:20-4:2), church, and community (Colossians 4:5-6). God has a distinct way of doing things and has an Image (Christ, Hebrews 1:3) and Likeness (Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23) that He wants in all things.
So if there's a playbook, why is there so much chaos in the world? Why are so many men acting a donkey? Why is there so much wounding?
DISORDER
While there are disorderly family units, and disorder everywhere...disorder comes from a lack of boundaries which in turn results in undefined dynamics. And an ambiguous dynamic of any kind is just begging for disorder.
Think about it in these terms: Papa was a rolling stone right? (Not necessarily your papa, just saying).
Ever think about why papa was a rollin' stone? The Word distinctly states in Genesis 1 that a man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife...NOT his wife AND ANYone else. The two are supposed to become of one flesh...how can a house divided against itself stand (from the Gospel)? Well if a man has any other Image for marriage other than that designated in 1 Corinthians 11:3 and Ephesians 5 (see previous blog), then he's clearly ignoring a boundary, thusly distorting a definition as dictated by God and creating DISORDER.
It's not just infidelity in marriage...it's the "friend with benefits" piece as well. "If a man looketh at another woman with lust, he has committed adultery in his heart (Matthew 5:28). In Exodus 20, one of the 10 Commandments to to NOT do this (reverberated several places in the New Testament). Now is it possible to not desire a dynamic like "friends with benefits" without engrossing ourselves in the Lord and His Way?
Answer: NOPE
Otherwise it wouldn't be desirable. It's going to clash with godliness (Galatians 5:17).
However, it's not just lust. Greed (No one can serve two masters, he shall love one and hate the other; you cannot serve God and wealth [Matthew 6:24]). A man ignoring this boundary cannot be the Biblical man that God set out for the 1st Adam but didn't get until the 2nd Adam (Christ). How can a man die to himself if he's stuck in financial self-preservation? Or any form of self-preservation?
Answer: He' can't.
What happens when boundaries are ignored? Well...
1) Folk get hurt...
2) The Holy Spirit is grieved...
3) Spiritual accounts are disrupted...
And we must keep Communion and fellowship with God including a comprehensive self-examination (1 Corinthians 11:27-32) only speak in a manner that edifies the Spirit (Ephesians 4:29), keep the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:16, 22-23), and Love God with all our hearts/thy neighbor as thy own flesh (Matthew 22:35-40).
Now don't get it flipped; women are just as subject to this as men...but it simply has a different effect when it starts with the man (again, 1 Corinthians 11:3). Now Joe Blow off the street won't have the influence necessary to create dysfunctional femininity from his dysfunctional masculinity...I'm talking about solidified dynamics (dating, "dating" ("friends with benefits"), relationships, marriage, etc.)
I could go on about ignoring boundaries forever. But what's the solution...?
1) Men, we gotta examine ourselves (1 Corinthians 11:27-32). Keep short (but candid) accounts with God about everything we do and let
2) We gotta take all thoughts captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). Principalities penetrate the mind and drive us to do ungodly things (And ignoring ANY boundary set by GOD through His Word is ungodly). Remember, it only takes one unchecked thought to tear down everything we've built.
3) Seek first the Kingdom and its righteousness (Matthew 6:33).
4) Make sure all of our decisions are guided BY SCRIPTURE ALONE, because it's the gold standard for living our lives (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
5) Again the
5) For when 1-4 fail, we must confess our sins so that God may clean us up (1 John 1:9) and make sure we don't condemn ourselves, for there is no condemnation for those in Christ (Romans 8:1). For unforgiveness and self-condemnation choke growth, propagate poor behavior patterns, and ALSO lead to ignoring of God-set boundaries. But let us remember while there is no condemnation in Christ, that our actions do have consequences, and those consequences work even for a greater good that we may come back into fellowship with God through our Lord, Savior, and Intercessor, Jesus Christ.
If we can keep these things in mind, fellas, we can show the ladies and all those around us what functional masculinity looks like. And next time I'm going to talk about what that looks like from a comprehensive standpoint. Until then, God bless.
2/12/2011
Functional Masculinity (4 of 7): The "Woe is Me" Principle
Well…I’m back. Last time around I discussed functional masculinity from the aspect of sacrifice. You know, the way Jesus Christ sacrificed for us, both through the validation of the Gospel (Jesus being God on Earth) and its culmination (Jesus dying for our sins and being Risen on the third day). Well we've talked about what functional masculinity is supposed to do, now let's discuss what it is NOT supposed to do.
For this particular entry I’d like to talk about functional masculinity from the perspective of one of the things that chokes functional masculinity…the “woe is me” principle. What the heck is the “woe is me” principle? Before I continue, while “woe is me” can be experienced by either a man or a woman, I am only talking about it from the perpsective of the man. Fellas, put on your thinking caps. When you’re in service to others, or having a really rough day, or your girlfriend/fiancée is making you do something you don’t want to do, do you get frustrated? Well that’s understandable; getting mad at your situation is natural. However, let me explain the difference between general frustration and “woe is me”.
When a man is frustrated with what he has to do, there are three general reactions (for every man it looks different). First, the frustrated man. He will do what he has to do, but begrudgingly so, with some anger, a snide comment, something. This man is either going to put walls up about his frustration, or he’s going to become the second man, the “woe is me” man. The “woe is me” man has become so frustrated with the sum total of his life circumstances that he complains all the time and has lost the will to better himself…in other words, he wants to quit. Why is the “woe is me” man even relevant? Because “woe is me” doesn’t know any color (although the black brothers are the first this is associated with), and no walk of life. The man who is viral in his complaints about his life despite the fact that he’s “doing what he’s supposed to” is also a “woe is me” man. “Woe is me” could either mean that a man isn’t trying anymore, of that a man wants unnecessary recognition for what he’s doing.
***To the ladies*** If you got a man like this, or you know one…uplift him (within boundaries of course, next blog entry..), but hold that man accountable.
***To the fellas***Women don’t want a whiny man. So stop whining.
Some of you are probably assuming the third man is the functional man. You’d be right to do so. I’m going to get to him in a minute. Some of you are also probably like “Two paragraphs and no Scripture references? Are you blowing smoke my brother?”
To you, hush, I got you. Here we go.
What’s the fundamental issue in a “woe is me” man? He ain’t checking himself at the door. This is but one of many things that can fall out from not making every thought one has conform to obey Christ. One of those principalities that causes us to fall out of godliness is that we are to be in entitled to something we’re not supposed to have…so yeah, men like this are deceived (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). A charge made in Ephesians 4:29-32 by Paul is not to open our mouths unless we have uplifting things to say. I think we can agree that whining doesn’t uplift anybody.
But why “woe is me”? What does “woe is me” look like?
The “woe is me” man thinks he has it so bad and is making so many sacrifices in life. And you know what? A lot of “woe is me” men do a lot of good work in their lives. They later invalidate it by wanting to be seen at the cost of being mad if they aren’t. Jesus himself tells us not to even roll like that. In Matthew 6:19-24, Jesus talks about this principle in challenging the Pharisees in the manner by which they worship. And not to serve the pleasures of the world. And YES, wanting to be seen/appreciated/etc at the cost of your walk in genuineness is indeed a pleasure of the WORLD. So, a charge to us as men is, we can’t be in it to be seen regarding the matter…because if a man chooses to identify with stuff like this it is IMPOSSIBLE for him to identify with Christ….and if a man with a family don’t have Christ, well then best case scenario is that the order is disrupted a bit and flowing through the woman. But, dysfunctional masculinity more often than not produces an entire dysfunctional family.
The “woe is me” principle is important for a man and a woman, but within God’s Order, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3)…but if a man is bogged down in “woe is me”, then Christ isn’t his head. And Christ IS the quintessential functional God-man. But like I said, I’m going to get to that.
In Scripture there are many “woe is me” men. But none are nearly as prominent as Job (see the book of Job in the Old Testament). Let’s take a look at Job. Job was a prominent man with a lot of land, riches, and a nice family. And while God was minding His own business you know, being God and all…here comes Satan boogity boogity (a wise man got me saying that, some of you may know him), rolling up there and noticing how proud God was of Job. So…Satan challenged God to flip his world upside down. And God agreed but told Satan to spare his life. Job wound up losing his lands, his house, his kids, and his health (sound somewhat familiar folks?), just all out of his comfort zone. His friends came and were shocked to see him. And Job had the “woe is me” thing going deep (but it is noteworthy that throughout this book he did not call God out of His name). Toward the end of the book of Job, Job asks God why he had to endure all these things, and God basically told him not to question him. It is even more noteworthy that practically every “woe is me” man has questioned God for putting him where he is. Keyword: perspective.
Perspective? But what about the Biblical man? The short answer is that when the going gets tough, a Biblical man will follow Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3 again)….that is his perspective. A Biblical man, when he’s faced with a taxing situation, as opposed to questioning God’s intent, will ask God to simply show him what God wants him to do in the situation…and often times that’s just waiting on God and sticking it out. Biblical men, depending on their maturity level, don’t struggle with this concept nearly as badly as the “woe is me” men. Why is following Christ important though? Well for this particular part, following Christ is important because Christ died for our sins. The next time one of you wants to think that’s no big deal, think about the world without that sacrifice. I’m willing to bet we wouldn’t even be here. Hell? No I’ll pass thank you (Jesus). But seriously, Jesus knew who He was and why He came to the Earth. And throughout the Gospel he was focused on His singular purpose of walking a perfect life in our place and taking that whooping on our behalf, adopting us into God’s Kingdom. Can any of us do that? Nope? Well then it’s a big darn deal that He did it.
Think about this though…would it have been the same if Jesus wanted to be revered for being the Son of God? Jesus, while he was on Earth, stayed wherever His head lay, he all knowledge but kept no money, ducked off constantly to have His fellowship with the Father (secret places), and rode in on a donkey (colt in some translations) where he could have had a golden chariot. He went into His situation, and if you look at His exchange with the Pilate (case and point, John 19:10-15), Jesus knows that He has to go up on the cross, and Pilate tells him that he has the power to free him or condemn him (verse 10), but Jesus completely dismisses that notion in verse 11, and is even seeks to give Pilate the perspective who He is…while those who turned him over to Pilate called Caesar their only king (verse 15, Roman Emperors were thought of as gods too), and Jesus already knew that this was a very egregious act (verse 11). Or let's think about Matthew 26:36-46. That critical time that although Jesus (being God), knew He was about to separated from the Father for the first time in eternity. That time that Jesus had to tap into His "God part" and although He made a petition, He willfully submitted to the Father with no complaint, and fulfilled His component of the Gospel. In that we were all made alive through Christ. Had he been focused on His Pain, and not His Purpose, we'd be done for. Such is also the case when we as men focus on our pain at the expense of our purpose. Note, sometimes you have to hash out pain. That's what the very Jesus who wasn't focused on His Pain is for.
That’s the Standard by which we as men can dismiss the “woe is me” principle. Christ didn’t complain a lick for what he had to do, but did in love and sincerity…and furthermore, knowing His role in the Father’s Plan. Men if we stick to this, we can’t lose, and woe gets kicked out of our business. God bless and have a great day.
For this particular entry I’d like to talk about functional masculinity from the perspective of one of the things that chokes functional masculinity…the “woe is me” principle. What the heck is the “woe is me” principle? Before I continue, while “woe is me” can be experienced by either a man or a woman, I am only talking about it from the perpsective of the man. Fellas, put on your thinking caps. When you’re in service to others, or having a really rough day, or your girlfriend/fiancée is making you do something you don’t want to do, do you get frustrated? Well that’s understandable; getting mad at your situation is natural. However, let me explain the difference between general frustration and “woe is me”.
When a man is frustrated with what he has to do, there are three general reactions (for every man it looks different). First, the frustrated man. He will do what he has to do, but begrudgingly so, with some anger, a snide comment, something. This man is either going to put walls up about his frustration, or he’s going to become the second man, the “woe is me” man. The “woe is me” man has become so frustrated with the sum total of his life circumstances that he complains all the time and has lost the will to better himself…in other words, he wants to quit. Why is the “woe is me” man even relevant? Because “woe is me” doesn’t know any color (although the black brothers are the first this is associated with), and no walk of life. The man who is viral in his complaints about his life despite the fact that he’s “doing what he’s supposed to” is also a “woe is me” man. “Woe is me” could either mean that a man isn’t trying anymore, of that a man wants unnecessary recognition for what he’s doing.
***To the ladies*** If you got a man like this, or you know one…uplift him (within boundaries of course, next blog entry..), but hold that man accountable.
***To the fellas***Women don’t want a whiny man. So stop whining.
Some of you are probably assuming the third man is the functional man. You’d be right to do so. I’m going to get to him in a minute. Some of you are also probably like “Two paragraphs and no Scripture references? Are you blowing smoke my brother?”
To you, hush, I got you. Here we go.
What’s the fundamental issue in a “woe is me” man? He ain’t checking himself at the door. This is but one of many things that can fall out from not making every thought one has conform to obey Christ. One of those principalities that causes us to fall out of godliness is that we are to be in entitled to something we’re not supposed to have…so yeah, men like this are deceived (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). A charge made in Ephesians 4:29-32 by Paul is not to open our mouths unless we have uplifting things to say. I think we can agree that whining doesn’t uplift anybody.
But why “woe is me”? What does “woe is me” look like?
The “woe is me” man thinks he has it so bad and is making so many sacrifices in life. And you know what? A lot of “woe is me” men do a lot of good work in their lives. They later invalidate it by wanting to be seen at the cost of being mad if they aren’t. Jesus himself tells us not to even roll like that. In Matthew 6:19-24, Jesus talks about this principle in challenging the Pharisees in the manner by which they worship. And not to serve the pleasures of the world. And YES, wanting to be seen/appreciated/etc at the cost of your walk in genuineness is indeed a pleasure of the WORLD. So, a charge to us as men is, we can’t be in it to be seen regarding the matter…because if a man chooses to identify with stuff like this it is IMPOSSIBLE for him to identify with Christ….and if a man with a family don’t have Christ, well then best case scenario is that the order is disrupted a bit and flowing through the woman. But, dysfunctional masculinity more often than not produces an entire dysfunctional family.
The “woe is me” principle is important for a man and a woman, but within God’s Order, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3)…but if a man is bogged down in “woe is me”, then Christ isn’t his head. And Christ IS the quintessential functional God-man. But like I said, I’m going to get to that.
In Scripture there are many “woe is me” men. But none are nearly as prominent as Job (see the book of Job in the Old Testament). Let’s take a look at Job. Job was a prominent man with a lot of land, riches, and a nice family. And while God was minding His own business you know, being God and all…here comes Satan boogity boogity (a wise man got me saying that, some of you may know him), rolling up there and noticing how proud God was of Job. So…Satan challenged God to flip his world upside down. And God agreed but told Satan to spare his life. Job wound up losing his lands, his house, his kids, and his health (sound somewhat familiar folks?), just all out of his comfort zone. His friends came and were shocked to see him. And Job had the “woe is me” thing going deep (but it is noteworthy that throughout this book he did not call God out of His name). Toward the end of the book of Job, Job asks God why he had to endure all these things, and God basically told him not to question him. It is even more noteworthy that practically every “woe is me” man has questioned God for putting him where he is. Keyword: perspective.
Perspective? But what about the Biblical man? The short answer is that when the going gets tough, a Biblical man will follow Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3 again)….that is his perspective. A Biblical man, when he’s faced with a taxing situation, as opposed to questioning God’s intent, will ask God to simply show him what God wants him to do in the situation…and often times that’s just waiting on God and sticking it out. Biblical men, depending on their maturity level, don’t struggle with this concept nearly as badly as the “woe is me” men. Why is following Christ important though? Well for this particular part, following Christ is important because Christ died for our sins. The next time one of you wants to think that’s no big deal, think about the world without that sacrifice. I’m willing to bet we wouldn’t even be here. Hell? No I’ll pass thank you (Jesus). But seriously, Jesus knew who He was and why He came to the Earth. And throughout the Gospel he was focused on His singular purpose of walking a perfect life in our place and taking that whooping on our behalf, adopting us into God’s Kingdom. Can any of us do that? Nope? Well then it’s a big darn deal that He did it.
Think about this though…would it have been the same if Jesus wanted to be revered for being the Son of God? Jesus, while he was on Earth, stayed wherever His head lay, he all knowledge but kept no money, ducked off constantly to have His fellowship with the Father (secret places), and rode in on a donkey (colt in some translations) where he could have had a golden chariot. He went into His situation, and if you look at His exchange with the Pilate (case and point, John 19:10-15), Jesus knows that He has to go up on the cross, and Pilate tells him that he has the power to free him or condemn him (verse 10), but Jesus completely dismisses that notion in verse 11, and is even seeks to give Pilate the perspective who He is…while those who turned him over to Pilate called Caesar their only king (verse 15, Roman Emperors were thought of as gods too), and Jesus already knew that this was a very egregious act (verse 11). Or let's think about Matthew 26:36-46. That critical time that although Jesus (being God), knew He was about to separated from the Father for the first time in eternity. That time that Jesus had to tap into His "God part" and although He made a petition, He willfully submitted to the Father with no complaint, and fulfilled His component of the Gospel. In that we were all made alive through Christ. Had he been focused on His Pain, and not His Purpose, we'd be done for. Such is also the case when we as men focus on our pain at the expense of our purpose. Note, sometimes you have to hash out pain. That's what the very Jesus who wasn't focused on His Pain is for.
That’s the Standard by which we as men can dismiss the “woe is me” principle. Christ didn’t complain a lick for what he had to do, but did in love and sincerity…and furthermore, knowing His role in the Father’s Plan. Men if we stick to this, we can’t lose, and woe gets kicked out of our business. God bless and have a great day.
10/11/2010
Suspending Blog
Due to the fact that the Ph.D. pursuit has become very demanding, I am suspending my blog about Functional Masculinity until further notice. Ref: 1 Corinthians 7:24.
God bless.
God bless.
7/18/2010
Functional Masculinity (3 of 7): Sacrifice
A couple weeks back we finished with the Ephesians 5 Principle as it pertains to functional masculinity in relationships. As I was writing that one I was looking for a transition to bring this to, but then one was given to me. Sacrifice. Why is sacrifice so doggone important? Simple. As my mom used to say (and still does), "It's not about you." I'm looking at YOU, fellas. In my last entry I talked about the Ephesians 5 principle and how a man is supposed to have his wife characterized as unblemished regardless of the way she's acting in front of him (positionally righteous much like we who are in Christ are positionally righteous before the Father). Well, that holds true for all of a man's dynamics to some extent.
The functional man is constantly seeking God out through the Son Jesus Christ for the best ways to serve (i.e., to Glorify Him and advance His Kingdom). Now don't get me wrong, everyone, male or female is supposed to serve, but we as men need to put ourselves behind the needs of those we serve as Jesus did when he went up on the cross at the end of the Gospel. Humanity needed a savior, so Jesus, who didn't want to be separated from the Father, realized what He was there for and went through with it, and did so joyfully. Note Jesus asked the Father to even show mercy those who were putting Him on the cross. He even saved one of the two vagabonds that he was crucified with; because that guy believe. Well, that's Jesus, who is perfect, what about men? Let me use a practical example.
Men, let me ask you something...especially those of you with wives/fiancees/girlfriends. How many times have you head home from whatever you do in your workplace (sometimes after a lonnnng day) and you get a buzz from the Mrs. to go do something? Did you groan about it? I have myself quite a few times when I was in relationships (even if you aren't married this concept applies but not to the extent that it does within a marriage). How many times did you not want to do something for your significant other and did it begrudgingly? Now sit back and think about where we'd be if Jesus had that attitude? We'd be in a grip of trouble wouldn't we? Hence, Jesus' attitude about going up on the cross and taking the whupping for our sins is the same attitude we must have with our loved ones. And Jesus knew what he was supposed to do under God. Now I'm not telling the men to be all giving the woman anything she wants whenever she wants it. With sacrifice must come discernment. Hence why men must go seek counsel from the Father through the Son, as the Son knew where he was supposed to be at ALL times concerning his immaculate spiritual walk. As men we have to build our functional masculinity through much trembling and building of discipline. We are not supposed to just be giving to any old anything, but sowing our all into everything God told us to do.
As men, we are leaders of the households. However, as leaders we have to make the sacrifice of sowing into the vessel that is our family. Not just for significant others or kids, but for relatives, often times parents,(spiritually) younger men, and anyone God says we as men are supposed to serve as we come across them. Servanthood is important to anyone's general walk, but indispensable to functional masculinity. It's not about you. It's about serving others in God's Kingdom. We'll continue this next week.
Reference 1 Peter 4 for further details.
The functional man is constantly seeking God out through the Son Jesus Christ for the best ways to serve (i.e., to Glorify Him and advance His Kingdom). Now don't get me wrong, everyone, male or female is supposed to serve, but we as men need to put ourselves behind the needs of those we serve as Jesus did when he went up on the cross at the end of the Gospel. Humanity needed a savior, so Jesus, who didn't want to be separated from the Father, realized what He was there for and went through with it, and did so joyfully. Note Jesus asked the Father to even show mercy those who were putting Him on the cross. He even saved one of the two vagabonds that he was crucified with; because that guy believe. Well, that's Jesus, who is perfect, what about men? Let me use a practical example.
Men, let me ask you something...especially those of you with wives/fiancees/girlfriends. How many times have you head home from whatever you do in your workplace (sometimes after a lonnnng day) and you get a buzz from the Mrs. to go do something? Did you groan about it? I have myself quite a few times when I was in relationships (even if you aren't married this concept applies but not to the extent that it does within a marriage). How many times did you not want to do something for your significant other and did it begrudgingly? Now sit back and think about where we'd be if Jesus had that attitude? We'd be in a grip of trouble wouldn't we? Hence, Jesus' attitude about going up on the cross and taking the whupping for our sins is the same attitude we must have with our loved ones. And Jesus knew what he was supposed to do under God. Now I'm not telling the men to be all giving the woman anything she wants whenever she wants it. With sacrifice must come discernment. Hence why men must go seek counsel from the Father through the Son, as the Son knew where he was supposed to be at ALL times concerning his immaculate spiritual walk. As men we have to build our functional masculinity through much trembling and building of discipline. We are not supposed to just be giving to any old anything, but sowing our all into everything God told us to do.
As men, we are leaders of the households. However, as leaders we have to make the sacrifice of sowing into the vessel that is our family. Not just for significant others or kids, but for relatives, often times parents,(spiritually) younger men, and anyone God says we as men are supposed to serve as we come across them. Servanthood is important to anyone's general walk, but indispensable to functional masculinity. It's not about you. It's about serving others in God's Kingdom. We'll continue this next week.
Reference 1 Peter 4 for further details.
4/08/2010
Functional Masculinity (2 of 7): The Ephesians 5 Principle
Today, I want to continue on the functional masculinity piece. This particular piece is important, as it is the charge of every man to convey functional masculinity in a manner that reflects Jesus Christ. Now, let me talk about the Ephesians 5 principle. I have spoken on the principle before, from a different perspective. Keep in mind that what God wants is the order (God>Jesus>man>woman>children) maintained so His Power can flow (1 Corinthians 11:3). If the man has the hiccup and the woman has the empowerment, she has to use it in the context to not be a theological contrarian (that's religiosity), but rather to empower the man and put him back in his spot (a modification to a past post). With that said, let's roll into the meat.
Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Then Eph 5:26-28 goes on (paraphrase) to say that a man should present her wife to himself as holy and blameless as a radiant church. Men should also love their wives as their own body. What I want to do is a bit of a breakdown of this.
First of all, the concept of loving the wife as his own flesh. Couple this to the general charge that Christ gives us all to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Matt 22:39) Note that with the exception of seeking God and loving God with all our hearts, NO OTHER DYNAMIC IS MADE REFERENCE as associating someone else with ourselves. And "Honor thy mother and father" is all fine and dandy, however, Genesis states that a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife. What this essentially means is that men should be treating their wives as if it is themselves. If the wife has a stomachache, the husband has to react like HE's the one sick (I watched this happened once; it was awesome to see). While that was great, where is that in today's society? Largely, largely lost. Men, we gotta get up on our stuff and SERVE OUR WIVES (no I'm not married).
Secondly, a man presenting his wife to himself without blemish. I had to brood on this one for a minute. Then I thought about it. When Christ died for our sins, then we got ourselves some positional righteousness. As far as the Father is concerned, we are seen just like Christ and so long as we ask Him things in Christ's name, they will pan out in our favor (paraphase Matt 21:22). Just got to stick to that standard. So what does that mean in a marriage? It means that a wife shouldn't be put on a pedestal in a place reserved for Christ and Christ alone, but the wife should be presented in the mind in a matter that she has no flaws, even when she produces the flaws. Having this characterization of our spouses mediates reconciliation, JUST like when we sin and go to God, it is our POSITIONAL RIGHTEOUSNESS mediated by CHRIST'S SACRIFICE for us all that allows us to get our stuff back straight with God. It's the PRACTICAL RIGHTEOUSNESS that cultivates our relationship with God, like a wife's practical flaws cause a rift in a marriage. Now men, remember, that picture we have in our heads isn't something she can ever reach through her works, it's something she has as a result of the covenant of marriage...and that leads back into a man loving a woman as his own body, and not hating his own body and taking care of it. When the positional righteousness is given in the context described above, a man AND his wife can work on their flaws and loss of harmony and grow practically (spiritually). Essentially, it's just seeing things as being all good because that's just the way it's going to be (or rather, understanding that God has it covered no matter what).
The last section of this is most important: husbands loving our wives as Christ loved the church. Well, what did Christ do for the church? Despite having the power NOT TO, he got up on the cross and died for the sake of the church, because Christ understood what His Role was. Does that mean we as men should simply give up our lives for our wives? Well, actually, yes. Let me explain. When a man gets married, it's not about him anymore. He needs to do everything under God that God has set him out to do to honor AND serve his wife in the marriage (and then the kids if they have kids present, but that's a slightly different story). That means a husband puts his stuff aside for the sake of his wife, and pushes himself as hard as the Lord's Will deem fit to make it happen in his marriage. Look, men have to take care of their wives, and do everything in their power to do right by his wife under God (the contextual key here). A concept that is lost in so many marriages. That being said, the standard not being followed does not diminish that standard, but rather those who conscientiously dismiss the standard. Note what I said. Conscientiously dismiss. If we don't accept the standard, the standard is still the standard. God is still God whether someone adheres to His Order, Standards, and Values or not. Therefore, the attributes are unmovable as well. I have seen, see, and read about argumentative marriages, distant marriages, dismissed marriages, and the like. God takes marriage seriously. This and Genesis 2 (be fruitful and multiply [go out and transfer His Image and Likeness]) are the crux of how God feels about marriage. As God takes marriage very seriously, so should we all.
Some of you who are reading this are probably saying, "Dude, you've never been married. You've never even been in a relationship for over a year." And you know what? Y'all are right. There are many who may have been married, some who are married (I'm thinking of some folks in particular) who could speak on this better than I have. I figured I'd convey God's Standard with as little of myself inserted in it as possible. Let me say this though. Even if you aren't married, if you're in a relationship, and you haven't distinctly taken marriage off of the table, this is still the standard you are working toward. I was talking to a buddy of mine a while back, and we came to a consensus that if you're going to get married and/or have kids, then your mentality should reflect that BEFORE it happens. And NO, PLEASE don't go call your girlfriend and ask her to bump nasties. That is NOT what I mean. What I mean is that as far as God says....and if even as we as men, JUST COURTING a woman, we need to be talking to God about her. In short, while some things are reserved for marriage, other things should be implemented as early as deems fit (but let the Lord lead). It'll restore the harmony in the marital dynamic, and allow God through His Holy Spirit to cultivate the man and his masculinity. Next time I will talk about another aspect of masculinity largely lost on today's men. Stay tuned.
Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Then Eph 5:26-28 goes on (paraphrase) to say that a man should present her wife to himself as holy and blameless as a radiant church. Men should also love their wives as their own body. What I want to do is a bit of a breakdown of this.
First of all, the concept of loving the wife as his own flesh. Couple this to the general charge that Christ gives us all to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Matt 22:39) Note that with the exception of seeking God and loving God with all our hearts, NO OTHER DYNAMIC IS MADE REFERENCE as associating someone else with ourselves. And "Honor thy mother and father" is all fine and dandy, however, Genesis states that a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife. What this essentially means is that men should be treating their wives as if it is themselves. If the wife has a stomachache, the husband has to react like HE's the one sick (I watched this happened once; it was awesome to see). While that was great, where is that in today's society? Largely, largely lost. Men, we gotta get up on our stuff and SERVE OUR WIVES (no I'm not married).
Secondly, a man presenting his wife to himself without blemish. I had to brood on this one for a minute. Then I thought about it. When Christ died for our sins, then we got ourselves some positional righteousness. As far as the Father is concerned, we are seen just like Christ and so long as we ask Him things in Christ's name, they will pan out in our favor (paraphase Matt 21:22). Just got to stick to that standard. So what does that mean in a marriage? It means that a wife shouldn't be put on a pedestal in a place reserved for Christ and Christ alone, but the wife should be presented in the mind in a matter that she has no flaws, even when she produces the flaws. Having this characterization of our spouses mediates reconciliation, JUST like when we sin and go to God, it is our POSITIONAL RIGHTEOUSNESS mediated by CHRIST'S SACRIFICE for us all that allows us to get our stuff back straight with God. It's the PRACTICAL RIGHTEOUSNESS that cultivates our relationship with God, like a wife's practical flaws cause a rift in a marriage. Now men, remember, that picture we have in our heads isn't something she can ever reach through her works, it's something she has as a result of the covenant of marriage...and that leads back into a man loving a woman as his own body, and not hating his own body and taking care of it. When the positional righteousness is given in the context described above, a man AND his wife can work on their flaws and loss of harmony and grow practically (spiritually). Essentially, it's just seeing things as being all good because that's just the way it's going to be (or rather, understanding that God has it covered no matter what).
The last section of this is most important: husbands loving our wives as Christ loved the church. Well, what did Christ do for the church? Despite having the power NOT TO, he got up on the cross and died for the sake of the church, because Christ understood what His Role was. Does that mean we as men should simply give up our lives for our wives? Well, actually, yes. Let me explain. When a man gets married, it's not about him anymore. He needs to do everything under God that God has set him out to do to honor AND serve his wife in the marriage (and then the kids if they have kids present, but that's a slightly different story). That means a husband puts his stuff aside for the sake of his wife, and pushes himself as hard as the Lord's Will deem fit to make it happen in his marriage. Look, men have to take care of their wives, and do everything in their power to do right by his wife under God (the contextual key here). A concept that is lost in so many marriages. That being said, the standard not being followed does not diminish that standard, but rather those who conscientiously dismiss the standard. Note what I said. Conscientiously dismiss. If we don't accept the standard, the standard is still the standard. God is still God whether someone adheres to His Order, Standards, and Values or not. Therefore, the attributes are unmovable as well. I have seen, see, and read about argumentative marriages, distant marriages, dismissed marriages, and the like. God takes marriage seriously. This and Genesis 2 (be fruitful and multiply [go out and transfer His Image and Likeness]) are the crux of how God feels about marriage. As God takes marriage very seriously, so should we all.
Some of you who are reading this are probably saying, "Dude, you've never been married. You've never even been in a relationship for over a year." And you know what? Y'all are right. There are many who may have been married, some who are married (I'm thinking of some folks in particular) who could speak on this better than I have. I figured I'd convey God's Standard with as little of myself inserted in it as possible. Let me say this though. Even if you aren't married, if you're in a relationship, and you haven't distinctly taken marriage off of the table, this is still the standard you are working toward. I was talking to a buddy of mine a while back, and we came to a consensus that if you're going to get married and/or have kids, then your mentality should reflect that BEFORE it happens. And NO, PLEASE don't go call your girlfriend and ask her to bump nasties. That is NOT what I mean. What I mean is that as far as God says....and if even as we as men, JUST COURTING a woman, we need to be talking to God about her. In short, while some things are reserved for marriage, other things should be implemented as early as deems fit (but let the Lord lead). It'll restore the harmony in the marital dynamic, and allow God through His Holy Spirit to cultivate the man and his masculinity. Next time I will talk about another aspect of masculinity largely lost on today's men. Stay tuned.
4/03/2010
Quotent Quotables
Just some things I like to say:
"Don't let a wrench get thrown into your plans. A wrench is a tool; which means it only has power if it can be used. If it doesn't fit into your business, put the wrench back in the toolbox."
"I'm just an ordinary negro."
"Know who you're dealing with. Know what you have before you make a decision to deal with it or not. You can't walk into a Chick-Fil-A and expect to walk out with a hamburger."
"If you awaken a sleeping giant, chances are you're going to get clubbed."
"If you don't wish for the world to poop on you, refuse to be a toilet."
"Oh no. This ain't gon' work."
"That don't go together!"
"I'm not where I want to be; but I'm thankful I'm not who I used to be."
"You could always say 'blark'. It basically substitutes for any profane word."
"Hittin' you with your own pimp and confusing you with 5-syllable words since 1982."
"I have a Ph.N. I'm a Negro of Philosophy."
"I'm just here to get to the solution."
"I'd quit, but I'm not sure I ever read the manual on how to do that."
"Fear? I fear God. Once He's in my business, what else is there to be afraid of?"
"I don't listen to what anybody got to say but God."
"I'm not fond of folks who say 'I love so-and-so so much.' Love can't be quantified. If you truly love someone unconditional, love by it's nature is infinite like the God who gave it to us first."
:-D
"Don't let a wrench get thrown into your plans. A wrench is a tool; which means it only has power if it can be used. If it doesn't fit into your business, put the wrench back in the toolbox."
"I'm just an ordinary negro."
"Know who you're dealing with. Know what you have before you make a decision to deal with it or not. You can't walk into a Chick-Fil-A and expect to walk out with a hamburger."
"If you awaken a sleeping giant, chances are you're going to get clubbed."
"If you don't wish for the world to poop on you, refuse to be a toilet."
"Oh no. This ain't gon' work."
"That don't go together!"
"I'm not where I want to be; but I'm thankful I'm not who I used to be."
"You could always say 'blark'. It basically substitutes for any profane word."
"Hittin' you with your own pimp and confusing you with 5-syllable words since 1982."
"I have a Ph.N. I'm a Negro of Philosophy."
"I'm just here to get to the solution."
"I'd quit, but I'm not sure I ever read the manual on how to do that."
"Fear? I fear God. Once He's in my business, what else is there to be afraid of?"
"I don't listen to what anybody got to say but God."
"I'm not fond of folks who say 'I love so-and-so so much.' Love can't be quantified. If you truly love someone unconditional, love by it's nature is infinite like the God who gave it to us first."
:-D
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